As noted in my introduction to “The Rector’s Report and Unity in Mission,” the Rt. Rev. C. Andrew Doyle, Bishop of the Episcopal Diocese of Texas, recently granted his permission for same-gender marriages to be conducted at Palmer Memorial Episcopal Church in Houston, in accord with his revised Unity in Mission Policy and the paper Unity in Mission: A Bond of Peace for the Sake of Love. The letters and documents that were sent to him to make that determination have been made available to the congregation and are also linked in the list below:
The Senior Warden’s Letter to the Bishop
Unity in Mission Task Force Report and Recommendation
Understanding Diverse Perspectives on Same-Gender Marriage
Why People Are Opposed to Gay Marriage
Brief Summary of Positions on Same-Gender Marriage
In the fall of 2013, my previous congregation in a first-ring suburb of Minneapolis was in the midst of a similar conversation. Same-gender marriage had become legal earlier that year in Minnesota, and a pastoral letter from the Rt. Rev. Brian N. Prior, Bishop of the Episcopal Diocese of Minnesota, which included guidelines for his clergy, was written in response to that change in civil law. Most of my parishioners embraced that out of love for our gay and lesbian brothers and sisters in Christ.
Two things that had shaped my own thinking about same-gender marriage by this time were the Rev. Gray Temple’s short and accessible book Gay Unions in the Light of Scripture, Tradition, and Reason and a public discussion in 2012 that I attended at the University of Minnesota between David Blankenhorn and Jonathan Rauch, moderated by On Being’s Krista Tippett, about “The Future of Marriage.” I commend both resources to everyone who desires to strengthen the institution of marriage.
While my congregation reflected on this, I responded to a request for pastoral care from two men in my community of faith who had been in a committed and loving relationship for more than three decades. These faithful Christians hoped to be married on the thirty-third anniversary of their first meeting. So, following the guidelines of the Bishop of Minnesota, I agreed to officiate at their marriage on that anniversary. It took place at a neighboring Episcopal parish since my own parish was honoring and completing the process outlined by our bishop in his letter.
I thought about that a lot the next year, after we had moved to Texas. My wife Carrie and I celebrated our eleventh wedding anniversary on October 11, 2014. The next morning, on Sunday, October 12, the flowers at Palmer Memorial Episcopal Church were given to the glory of God in thanksgiving for the first wedding anniversary of a same-gender couple in my new congregation. Monday, October 13, marked the first wedding anniversary of the two men in Minnesota whose marriage I had blessed.
Acknowledging the fact that there are people whom I know and love deeply who will disagree with me about all of this, I think it’s important for me to share with others the words of my sermon at that wedding more than three years ago in Minnesota. The happy couple have given me permission to do so, for which I am most grateful.
Here’s what I said:
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